Archive for August 28th, 2006


Keep the Fear, People

August 28, 2006

We’re seeing an increase in property crime in Rabbit Hill and the surrounding environs these days. I take it as a sure sign that crystal methamphetamine is once again rearing its ugly head in Rabbit Hill. People stealing generators, all the hollow-eyed and emaciated young adults I see walking the streets, in line at the Piggly Wiggly buying nothing but lotto tickets and cartons of off-brand cigarettes; these are the signs, people. Sheriff’s deputies have taken to tasering men to death in the trailer parks rather than risk having thier arms broken trying to subdue these cranked-up rednecks.

The proverbial shit is going down in Rabbit Hill, folks. Me and mine will not be unprepared. I’m keeping to a strict drug regimen in order to maintain a sharp mind and nimble aspect. Every night I sit on the front porch, drinking bourbon and reading apocolyptic fiction, just so I don’t lose the fear. Because if you lose the fear, gentle reader, you might as well roll your riding lawn mower out to the mailbox and kiss it goodbye, for the meth heads will have already won.