Great Drunken Animals in History, Part 2:

January 12, 2007

tycho.JPGTycho Brahe (1546-1601) was the preeminent pre-telescopic astronomer, who thought that the planets orbited the sun, which orbited the earth. Of his critics, who were even more wrong than him, he wrote:

“O crassa ingenia. O caecos coeli spectatores” (“Oh thick wits. Oh blind watchers of the sky”).

Tycho Brahe lived in a castle and kept a tame elk as a pet. Much like Kid Rock, he consorted with a Dwarf, who was his court jester. The dwarf, named Jepp, could see into the future. Alas, no record exists that Jepp accurately predicted the moment at which the elk, drunk, would tumble down the castle stairs to his death.

Tycho died when his bladder burst after a drinking contest.

Or he overdosed on mercury trying to treat himself for syphilis.

Jepp, sweet Jepp, is lost to history.


  1. God rest his soul.

  2. I felt, just for a moment, while reading this, that i was back at Garfield High School. Thank you for returning to me my youth, Duck

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