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An Apology to the Completely Heterosexual Evangelist Ted Haggard

February 6, 2007

Boy, did I step in it this time.

Last November, I called evangelist Ted Haggard a “self-righteous asshole” for vehemently opposing gay marriage while carrying on a three-year “cash for sex” relationship with a male prostitute, who also sold him methamphetamine.

Turns out, Haggard isn’t gay at all, and therefore his lifestyle is totally consistent with his religious/political views.   Apparently, because he only had sex with the one guy on and off over a period of three years, it doesn’t count.

Oh, and he never ingested any of that meth he bought.

So mea culpa, Ted Haggard, and godspeed to you.  I’m glad we both got that off our chests.

haggard.jpg

Above: Reverend Ted Haggard, not thinking about getting cranked up on meth and boning a male prostitute.

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One comment

  1. You’re only gay if you *mean* it, Duck. Apparently, Pastor Teddy-cakes was only temporarily possessed by a gay demon during his homo-marathons.

    Now that he’s back to normal, he can continue his effective ministry of love.

    With, you know, his wife and stuff.



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